Last Day of Vacation

Today is my last day of my vacation from work.  I know that most of you feel the same way I do about work and are dreading heading back into the office/field/shop or what have you.  I for one, love the company I work for, love the people I work with (for the most part), enjoy getting out of the house daily, and most certainly love getting paid.  But I am sure you would agree that its hard to find the meaning behind it all. Sure, in my job I take checks from customers and apply the payments to the proper invoices, for the service they acquired, for the business that makes something or provides a service to someone else and thus employing others along the way and in the end we all get a paycheck.  But I suppose its only human to want to see some kind of greater good come out of the 2080+ hours we spend each year typing away at a keyboard, pushing a mouse, and shuffling papers.

One of the things I have done recently to fight this feeling of monotony was to become involved in my local roller derby team.  I mentioned earlier in this blog that I had started attending the Ref U! course taught by the Detroit Derby Girls.   I have since completed the course and am now an actual staff member of the league.  I have started working a few bouts, doing NSO positions like Outside Whiteboard, Penalty Box Timer, and Scorekeeper.  It has been fun and exciting so far.  I have met a lot of new people and have been building new friendships all along the way.  It's honestly amazing just how busy derby will keep a person.  I am just a volunteer staff person, without the obligations of mandatory practices, however, in order to make sure I know how to do my job well, I have to practice, obviously.  But its even more than that, its the social events, and the ever changing and evolving business of the DDG.  I came into this thinking that I would get to understand the game better, and that I would get to help out.  For anyone that is out there and looking to get into NSOing, make sure you have the time and the ability to travel. 

Now knowing what is exactly required of me, I now have some decisions to make.  How much do I want to dive into this? Am I happy just wading in the kiddie pool, or would I like to be come certified and eventually work my way up to being a lifeguard? (My apologies for the weird swimming metaphor).  Derby to me right now is still overwhelming.  It seems that any time I have a break from the madness, I start doubting if I want to get back into it again.  But as soon as I show up to practice, the fun floods back and and I am totally geeked all over again! 

I am missing my first, and hopefully only, bout this weekend, and I am sad.   Sad that I will miss watching some of my friends play their first game of the season, and sad that I wont be there for any silliness that goes down or to help Stat Army win the after-party. But part of me knows that if I want to be in control of my own life, and not feel like I am being overwhelmed or giving too much of myself to this crazy sport, I have to say no every once in a while.  I know, you are probably wondering how I could feel overwhelmed when I haven't been around derby much in the past few weeks.  And honestly its more because I have heard the stories of other staff members being burnt out and that is one thing I want to prevent from happening from the get go.  I want to take this at my own pace, and provide as much of myself as I can, but under my own terms and conditions. Its volunteer work. I will do what I can to meet the requirements of my league, but it will be up to me how much more I give.

Sounds crazy right?  I mean how have I gone from super fan to cautious volunteer in just a matter of months... Trust that things happen on a derby league just as fast as they do on the track. Am I happy I got involved? Absolutely!  But I am taking it one day at a time, one practice at a time, one bout at a time, and one season at a time. There is no sense in making this fun job as painful to go back to as my real job.